Blessings Pour Down

Yesterday was a day of blessings. It's odd because I expected yesterday to be awful. I had MOPS yesterday but there was a slight chance of running into a relative of my daughter's nonexistent father. This chance encounter was not something I wanted to risk. I contemplated skipping the Christmas Brunch MOPS. But I reminded myself that these people are not going to rule my life. I went to MOPS anyway, I had the chance encounter with that person anyway, they didn't recognize me anyway. I was so blessed by the guest speaker at MOPS. There are so many times that I don't feel that I measure up as a mom, a woman, a Christian. I feel bad that I don't sit down and read the Bible to my daughter every day. I feel as though praying occasionally with her and bringing her to church isn't enough. I need to do MORE. The guest speaker gave advice on how to incorporate your faith into your daily routine. During drive time, bath time, play time and cuddle time. I LOVED it. I saw the way that I already do it (drive time) and realized that I didn't realize I could have been incorporating our faith during different times. I was so encouraged as a Christian mom.

After MOPS I was due at the unemployment office to go over my work search record. Apparently my casehandler didn't feel I was adaquately looking for work. He made me do an over the phone interview on Tuesday then said I needed to come in the next day. I was outraged. He wasted 20 minutes of my time on the phone then he wanted to waste another 20 minutes in the office. I was NOT looking forward to this appointment. I was even further outraged when I walked in and he had completely forgotten that he had made an appointment. I was just about to set him straight in my new mom voice when he started telling me about the information I requested about going back to school. BLESSING ALERT! I found out that I can go back to school, finish my bachelor's degree in journalism AND get it funded because my occupation is an on-demand "green" job. I have to do my end of applying and getting any financial aid then we send in the application for funding. I couldn't believe it! I had thought for sure when I got pregnant that my dreams of finishing school were gone. As much as I wanted to, I figured the funds and time would never become available. I am so excited. I'm going back to school in the Fall and will finish in 2 years and have it paid! PLUS, I'll still get unemployment each week. I feel as though this was the way God was directing my path. To not go to the ciy for school, but to stay with family and go to Syracuse or Ithaca. I had a feeling for a while now that NYU wasn't meant to be. Each time I tried to set things up and get it all in order to go, something would happen that would prevent me ie lack of job, finances, lack of scholarship, pregnancy. It's still really hard. I desire to go to NYU so badly. I LOVE their journalism program, their whole school, the city, all of it. It's something I am really going to struggle with for a while. It was my dream. I have to understand it was MY dream not GOD'S. God has a different BETTER perfect direction for me. Prayer would be appreciated. But still, this is a BLESSING! Don't get me wrong, I'm still SUPER excited to go back to SCHOOL!! (insert squealing here)

After my unemployment appointment, I had wanted to go to my cousin's for lunch but because of sick kids, that wasn't going to happen. I was bummed until my mom, who was at a conference in Syracuse, called and asked if I wanted to meet her after her conference at Toys-R-Us to finish christmas/birthday shopping. I was thrilled! I had 4 items left to get for Analiese's birthday & christmas, all of which were at Toys-R-Us. We met her and I was able to complete the shopping. Plus, most of them were on sale. I also realized I had gotten her other gifts on sale too. I didn't spend as much as I budgeted which is WONDERFUL. A blessing that I finished shoppping so early and saved money.

I also had a moment of reflection where I was thankful that God allowed me to leave Analiese's father and not marry him. That He allowed me to see that he was faking being a Christian. I feel blessed to be brought back into the fold by God and that I'm all in one piece.

I had other various little blessings throughout the day but those are the ones I will mention.

I know that these days are very rare for me and they shouldn't be. I love how I felt all day yesterday with the big and little blessings throughout. I want to hold on to that feeling and attempt to have more days like that. Days where I feel God's blessings pour down like rain.