What a Difference a Year Can Make

Last year around this time my life was pretty different. A stark difference in fact.

Last year I was talking with a man who I was pretty sure I was going to marry. I was in a job where I thought I would be writing for the next several years. I had just finished my semester at TC3 where I retook the class I needed to in order to finish my degree. I had just begun the thought process of applying to Syracuse University. Actually, I remember I started the online application on January 9. It took me almost an entire year to gain enough gumption to finish and submit it.
I was in a frame of mind where I was pretty sure I was never going to finish school and I'd be living with my parents forever.
I had a little girl who had just turned 3, just ditched the paci, just learned to use the toilet, and just started her first semester of pre-school.
I was halfway through my first year as a member of the MOPS steering team, stumbling through and trying to get to know significant more than a handful of women in an effort to better serve my MOPS group.

To tell the truth, last year I was a tiny (I think tiny is an understatement) bit depressed about my life. I felt like nothing was ever going to change and I was never going to achieve any of the goals and dreams God put in my heart. I was pretty bummed by my own life.

How sad.

It's kind of crazy how much can change in one year. I know one whole year seems like a lot of time to all of us but when you think about it, one year is such short change when it comes to our lives.

In contrast, this year I am no longer talking to that man, in fact that ended quite, weirdly. I have gone on dates since then. And even had a 5 month period where I was working toward a relationship with someone but seriously, if you have to spend 5 months working on building that relationship then really you're forcing something that isn't there. It took me too long to admit.

I am no longer in that writing job, feeling quite free of it actually. It was a stressful job for very little pay.

I am now a student at Syracuse University! (woah, that still doesn't sound real) I think that's the biggest change for me from last year, my *silly* dream of thinking I'd be accepted came true and I'm actually attending. I've wanted this since sophomore year of high school but was too afraid to try for fear of finances, rejection, and incapability. Which does bring me to the awesome point of God has provided all but about $300 of my tuition per semester. Until yesterday, I had $12,000 per semester that I was going to try to cover between scholarships and work. I was pretty stressed about it as I wasn't going to take out a loan and that was a significant amount of money. Yesterday when I called the school, they had forgotten to finalize my financial aid package and boy did the updated number bring me to tears!!

I no longer have the frame of mind that I'm not going to finish school, in fact I should be done in about 4 semesters! Liese and I are in the process of moving ourselves to Syracuse. Finally, a home I can call our own. *squeal*
My precious daughter has just turned 4 (woah, I do NOT feel old enough to have a 4 year old), has completely forgotten about a paci, is a pro at going to the bathroom by herself including through the night! She is now in her first full year of pre-school in the 4 year old class with plans to head to Kindergarten in the Fall. YIKES! She even takes gymnastics!

I'm in my second year on MOPS Steering and I am LOVING it. I have met many new women and honest to goodness made many good friends by being on steering. I love how much it pushes me out of my comfort zone. I feel a little more sure of myself as a Small Group Leader for the single moms group albeit it's a trying position but I love those women!!

To tell the truth, this year I have seen God's hand work so steadfastly in my life over the past year that I cannot experience anything but JOY at this point in my life. Many a curve ball has been thrown my way this year and God has been consistent. I don't know why I thought He would be anything but. Silly me underestimating my own God and continuing to need reminders how sovereign He is. He has definitely taught me of his unfailing love for me this year. His UNFAILING, meaning He'll never send a text at midnight that says He's done with me or that He'll never say, I thought you were my friend but you haven't been very good at being a friend lately so we're no longer friends.

Let those, especially the first one sink in for a moment.

Maybe you'll have a WOAH moment like I did.

And continue to have, He never ceases to make me go "WOAH."