Tonight I'm struggling. I'm at a loss of what to do or say. I feel powerless. I'm watching a very dear friend do and say some of the exact same things I did and said when I was not living a life that was pleasing to God and when I was having sex with a guy who I was not married to.
I do know now how my parents felt, a little.
I can't say for sure exactly what my friend is doing, I've seen a few things, heard a few things and am piecing all those together to realize she's acting and sounding like me over 3 years ago. My heart is breaking. I feel as though I need to do something, anything but I literally have no idea.
I think, "what would I have listened to had a friend approached me when I was like this?" and I come up with nothing. I honestly cannot think of something that could have been done or said that would have shaken me out of my idiocy. I know that closer friends would have helped. Closer friends who cared.
I want to say something to her. I have in fact, said something. It didn't go well. Actually, I've said something twice now. Both times, it didn't go well. I sought advice and I need to call my friend and explain why I've said the things I did, why I confronted her. But, I'm scared. I don't want to push her away, I don't want to push her closer to him.
I'm scared for her. I love her, she's been my closest friend since junior high. We've drifted apart, because of this guy and I'm desperate to bring her back. I don't want what happened to me to happen to her. I don't want her to make decisions she's going to regret. I don't want her reputation ruined because of a few stupid mistakes that she thinks are good ones because of a few lines a guy whispers in her ear.
I just want her to step out of herself for one second and see what she's doing. I know not to lecture her, I know not to be upset at her about it but that's about all I know.
How much do you let go? How much stuff do you let slip by? How many times do you confront them in love and try to have a honest conversation with them? When do you say something and when don't you?
Pray for my friend please. I really believe she needs it. Pray for me, that I can fulfill what I've been trying to since my experience. I want to impact young woman's lives for the better, to help them see the choices they're making and change. So far I haven't been very successful.
Lord help me be a better friend. Help me to be Jesus to her.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
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Hi Kayli!! I finally found you!! For some reason I couldn't get to your blog for a really long time!
ReplyDeleteSo here I am, and ya know what? This is a hard topic for sure. Especially if your friend doesn't follow Christ. It's so easy for us to see because we already know Christ...but others who don't are blinded and don't see what they are doing as wrong...all you can do really is just come to her as an honest friend (which I think you have)...tell her that you don't want to burn the bridge of your friendship, tell her that you love her, tell her you are afraid of her getting hurt, and tell her that this is the last time that you want to bring it up to her because it's really on your heart to tell her...and to please open her heart as your friend to just listen to what you have to say...And if she gives you the chance to talk to her openly and honestly great...pray hardcore...ask God to give you all the words you need. I will pray for you in this situation. :o) Chin up girl.
God Bless!