Today, I have no voice

For what reason I am not entirely sure. I became ill right at the beginning of the New Year with an achy all over cold sinus infection low grade fever type sickness. A couple of days later, I was just about over it, only a runny nose to battle. Yesterday, my voice became deeper, more hoarse & I started sounding more & more like a man. As I said to my daughter last night "Hello I am your man mommy". That was funny until this morning when I woke up and attempted to say good morning to my mother. Nothing & I mean N-O-T-H-I-N-G came out. Not a whisper, squeak, pip or even a pip-squeak. I was SO frustrated, I knew it was going to happen. I've lost my voice SEVERAL times before (I talked, yelled, screamed, cheered my  way through high school), but not this sudden nor this bad. Today, was MOPS. I was looking forward to the meeting today as I didn't make it to the last one because of a sick child and a sleepless night. Plus, no lunch with cousins today (which I also missed out on last time) because of other sick children. The snow hasn't been helping my mood either. It was difficult to enjoy MOPS with no voice, but it made me reflect. What with me being a BIG talker, I had opportunities today to really listen. Not that I didn't listen to people before, but to listen not only more closely to others but to God & his plan for my life & my current battles.

I had this inconvenience "opportunity" once in college for a writing class. We were supposed to spend one hour either deaf or blind & write about it. My close friend & I chose to both be deaf, at the same time, while we ventured to the mall (I know outstandingly brilliant, are we not?). It was challenging, we'd find ourselves calling out to one another only to realize, we wouldn't be able to hear one another. We both listened to people around us & I think we each got a chance to listen to God on the ride there (after all, it was only an hour & we were at that mall for more than simply one hour). At the time, I hated the exercise. Now, I see part of it's purpose.

I think that if more people had this opportunity, they would think more about what they chose to say. One woman, if she could have heard herself, I mean actually sat down & listened to what she was saying, well, I honestly don't know what she would do. After all, her personality doesn't lend to criticism very well. So many of us talk about me, me, me. I do this, my kids do that, I went there, blah, blah, blah. Everyone in this country seems to be so focused on themselves & driven by it. Why can't it be more of you, you, you. Focus on others. (Of course, the thought crosses my mind that I've always wondered, if you are focusing on the other person & asking them questions then isn't the other person being all "me-me-me"?)

Today, I have no voice. Today, I had the opportunity to listen to others & to my Savior. Most of the things we shared were of the heart & what I needed to hear. Most I do not feel comfortable sharing on this blog. Some I am still working out & contemplating how to better put them into a writing piece for this blog.

I will say this after reading more of Bathsheba's story today, I feel as though our stories are similar & that I can learn a great deal from her, along with the other 4 women, Tamar, Rahab, Ruth & Mary. I only have a grain of an idea of what it is to be a woman of God, a woman of virtue, a woman who will be an excellent wife & a crown for my husband's head.

Bathsheba, I am encouraged & I cannot wait to meet you in heaven.